Our advice for successful dating

Article 21

How to use your SITE_DOMAIN profile to your best advantage

Are your photos doing you justice?

It’s impossible to state how important photographs are when you’re looking for love online. Our research has found that profiles without photos attract 16 times fewer responses than those with pictures. Sixteen times! So if you currently don’t have a photo up, change that now. The best photographs are a clear head shot for your main portrait, then a full-body shot. Smiling is attractive, but that the main focus should be on looking into the camera. It makes you seem much more approachable.

Another thing to remember is that your photos should echo the words in your profile. So don’t just claim to be sporty – upload a photo which shows you doing sporty things! If you’re really keen on animals, why not upload a great shot of you and your dog walking on the beach? If you’re the sociable type, don’t use a photo of you surrounded by friends as it will take any potential partner too long to work out which one is you – instead, how about using a shot of yourself dressed up before an important night out?

Is your profile a happy place to be?

People should enjoy reading your profile. it doesn’t have to be hilariously, but do try to make it warm and light-hearted. Your profile is not the place to issue commands like, “Time-wasters be gone!”, or to bemoan your single status.

Instead your profile should be welcoming and happy – just like you’d be if you were chatting to someone new at a party. The internet can tempt us to open up, but try to resist sharing every last detail about yourself. It’s important to give people a reason to contact you and find out more.

Are you clear about what you like to do?

When thinking about what to write about how you enjoy spending your time, think in terms of activities you can do with somebody else. Let potential dates see where and how they might fit into your world. If you genuinely enjoy tennis, or cycling or cooking then say so. When you meet someone new, you’ll naturally spend less time on solitary pursuits anyway. If there’s something new you’d love to try, don’t feel afraid to mention it. One of our members met her husband after mentioning in her profile that she’d just taken up golf and would love someone to help her improve her game. A keen golfer contacted her and they now happily spend weekends on the green.

Are you being too specific about what you’re looking for?

It’s great that you have a picture of the kind of partner that would be perfect for you, but if you’ve thought it through right down to their eye colour, exact height and star-sign… why not widen the net a little? Remember that you’re writing your profile so that you can go on some great dates and meet people in person – and we’ve all had the experience of falling in love with someone who is the opposite of our usual “type”. Don’t forget that some of the people reading your advert might be adorable but shy so don’t scare them away with an impossible wish-list of must-haves! If you do have non-negotiables such as a certain radius of where you live, that’s fine – but keep them to your search criteria (and even then, don’t be afraid to go outside your comfort zone a little). People reading your advert should feel encouraged to contact you, not intimidated.

Does your quirkiness shine through?

It’s an attractive quality, especially when many online-dating profiles sound so similar. Don’t keep to the well-trodden paths of, “I like to stay in with a bottle of wine watching a DVD and going out too.” Be specific, let us get to know you – which DVD? Where do you like to go out? What wine? If you love walking on the beach, that’s great – but which beaches do you like best and why do you enjoy it so much. If you can be specific, then it’s worth mentioning. If there’s one beach in the world you’ve been dying to see all your life, then mention it - whether it’s in Rhyl or Rio! You get the idea, it’s the little details that spark attraction, from the name of an obscure book through to the description of a favourite meal you once had on holiday. And not only are these snippets interesting to read, they make it much easier for people to reply so you can start a real dialogue and get to know each other.

Finally, remember to revisit your profile from time to time to update it. You might have returned from holiday with a new hobby, or a new found love of Greek cuisine. By keeping your profile up to date, you’ll have the best chance of capturing the attention of someone with similar passions.

If you’re still looking for help on how to craft the best profile, then why not call our coaching service for some practical advice? Our coaches are experts at helping you write up a personal ad that will be both positive and realistic. They can help you identify both your key attributes and qualities, and what you are looking for in a partner. Subscribers can call our coaches for one to one advice and support between 2pm and 5pm, Monday-Friday.

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